Today is my 54th birthday. Yee! To celebrate (really?), here's my list of 54 things I know at 54.
1. Wrinkles have little to do with age, and more to do with laughter.
2. Nothing is chemical free.
3. Contact lenses make me happy most of the time.
4. Dogs make me happy all of the time.
5. It's much harder to be a good driver than a bad driver.
6. Many colors go together if you squint really hard.
7. Johnny Depp makes even a horrible movie not too horrible.
8. Marriage doesn't get easier, but it gets much better.
9. The Sopranos and The Wire will stand the test of time.
10. Big Love, not so much.
11. Some people are never meant to drive manuals.
12. Toes never change.
13. Every city everywhere at some point will air a tv news report that says "don't like the weather now? wait ten minutes."
14. I'll never be an innovator, and I'll try never to be a laggard.
15. Some people just shouldn't dance like no one is watching.
16. Every strong woman isn't a bitch. But honestly, some of them are.
17. I need to be OK with not being the most popular teacher on the faculty.
18. Many things are better with a little sparkle.
19. Breathing is underrated.
20. I bet the world would be a happier place overall if we got clean sheets every day.
21. I don't understand why some people look down on fiction.
22. Ghosts=yes. Vampires=no. Werewolves=no. Other stuff on True Blood=probably not.
23. If you have bells on your toes you really won't have music wherever you go because your toes and feet will muffle the bells.
25. I feel bad for people who look to me for help with their Macs.
26. There is a very heavy gravity vortex right underneath the sofa in the living room.
27. One purpose of winter is to allow us to see just how beautiful spring is.
28. When you don't have one, all babies sort of look the same. Cute and adorable, but the same.
29. Puppies, on the other hand, are all cute and adorable in their own special ways.
30. There is a strong, positive and significant correlation between age and distraction level.
31. There is a strong, positive and significant correlation between age and interest in real estate ads.
32. By this age, you know whether you're the good or the bad cop.
33. And you're happy in the role.
34. I get nervous about people in leadership positions who are younger than me. Not sure when that happened.
35. "Whatever happened to..." is a rabbit hole.
36. If you don't know the difference between tempeh and tofu at this point, you will probably never know.
37. Music was better then.
38. Moves were better then.
39. TV was better then.
40. 'Then' is a flexible and amorphous concept.
41. Sun > clouds.
42. Rain > clouds.
43. Snow > rain.
44. Everything > wind.
45 -54. Ten other things that I can't remember. Because I'm 54.