Tuesday, October 06, 2015

Ten (seven) things

Today's ten things is ten things to do to be supportive when someone dies. We all encounter death, and Carole just lost a good friend. Her list is a great summary and I'm wondering what I could add to it.

The deaths I've dealt with the most in the past decade have been of our animal companions. We don't have children, and I love all of our pets. We had a bad spell where we lost three of our dogs to cancer in a relatively short period of time--probably five or six years. So my list is from the perspective of losing our dear animal companions.

1. Don't say 'it was just a dog/cat/whatever'. He or she wasn't just anything---he or she was my good friend and I spent more time with my dogs than I do with most people.

2. Don't say 'you can just get another one.'  Because while I can, I'm probably not ready to yet.

3. Don't talk about the worse disease that your dog/cat has.

4. Share a remembrance about the pet.

5. Send a card.

6. When sending a card, don't reference that it seems weird to send a card for the death of a pet.

7. Talk about how odd it was for you when you lost your pet--how you still see him or her walking around corners or hear him or her scratching at the door.

Loss is hard, no matter what type of loss.


Donna said...

I don't even know how somebody could say "it's just a pet" but I have heard it before! And I agree - you aren't usually ready for another one soon afterwards. We needed time to grieve our dog before we got a puppy.

fillyjonk said...

I still have dreams about, and still sometimes feel sad about, the last cats my parents had - they lived to 19 and 21 years of age, so they were around for essentially all of my adult life.

I think in some ways it's harder to lose a pet than a person; there's that element of unconditional acceptance there.

Kym said...

Oh, you are so right. Your list is perfect. (I'm still grieving my wonderful dog, Jake -- and he died over 8 years ago.) Thanks for sharing your list.